Monday, October 26, 2009

Introducing a new Blog Series.

"You Ever Thing About...?" will explore actions, concepts, thoughts, ideas, etc. that, when you think about it, are complete insane, weird, outstanding, etc.

Now, this won't be a weekly thing. Won't be a monthly thing. Won't be on any type of schedule. The series will come out pretty much how I see fit. I do have 4 topics, so this blog series will be around for about at least a few weeks.

For my first entry:

You Ever Think everything we do, everything that we know and exists on this planet, will be gone in 6 Billion years?

I'm gonna assume that you believe in Stellar Evolution. I mean, if you didn't, so what? What they hell do we know? Even the smartest scientists may ultimately have it wrong.

But I'll continue as if you believe. The Sun is, no surprise here, a star. And like any star we theorized ('we' being human beings 100 smarter than you or I...or at least appear 100 times smarter), it goes through a life cycle. A Star is Born, exists for a few billion years at a relatively steady temperature, gradually gets warmer, expands massively into a Red Giant, then collapse into a White Dwarf.

Some time between now and then, Earth's atmosphere will be completely shredded and the surface will resemble Mars.

Just another lovely Sunday on Earth

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Why the fuck would I care? I'll be gone by then. Holy fuck. I'll be gone by then!!!!!"

Sorry to freak you out. This isn't one of those "Life on Earth-Mars will turn to shit, so Live Your Life now" type posts. I Swear.

This is merely a thought exercise.

I, for one, find it fascinating. I find everything about the Universe fascinating. Because I'm a big nerd with lots of time on my hands. No complaints from me. But I wish time would be the only thing on my hands.


Now, don't get me wrong, I believe that by then, humans would probably find some other planet we could travel to, take the most important (i.e. riches sons a bitches...because money will be so important on a brand new planet) and continue our existences for awhile. Until the resident aliens get sick of us and boot us out. Who's the dirty Mexican now?

Above: Dirty Mexican!

But is also makes me think. In the grand scheme of things, are we really just a spec of dust on the pubic hair of the Universe's nutsack?

Something like that

Personally, I like to think that we are just a small glisten of sweat on the Universe's large boobs.

Apparently, I think the Universe is a large chested tranny.

See. That didn't hurt?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

"Think Kanye is a jerk? Want him dead?

Congratulations, you're worst than him."

I wanted to post this after reading some of the tweets regarding the "RIP Kanye West" hoax on Twitter. Reading some of the things people were tweeting, it kinda annoyed me.

(I was gonna post some of the tweets I was talking about, but this is what I get for posting this a day too late)

Basically, there were a few "He's not dead, but he should be" and "He's not dead, unfortunately" and "Why can't 'RIP Kanye West' be true :("

My headline is for those people.

Now, don't get me wrong, these types of tweets were few and far between. And I bet the ones I read were probably in jest. But for those who were serious or even quasi-serious, I say, "Kanye West is a jerk, an egotistical asshole. You, my friend, are much worse of a human being."

I'm not really for the death penalty (save that for another post) but I understand wanting to put someone to death for the crime of murder. But wishing death on someone for being a jerk/asshole/useless? You're a bigger piece of shit in my book.

Can you imagine? One day, Kanye West is walking in the street. A bus is careening out of control. I jump out and pull Kanye back from certain death. Then some Twitteridiot comes up to me and ask, "why did you do that for?" Their tweets were basically saying the same thing.

If you're one of those people reading this entry and thinking, "Derek, I wish death on you!"

I say, "You're still a bigger asshole. Bask in your Grand Assholeism!"


(I really don't know why I posted this. Just trying to stay up to date, I guess).

Friday, October 16, 2009


...uh, look, if you want me to just keep on doing the same old thing, then maybe this blog is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my blogtistic integrity. And I'll tell you something else, this is the blog and I'm not going to change it."

OK, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I just haven't updated in awhile and was in an Costanza mode.

I mean, it's not like I have something for you. I mean I may, but I don't wanna jinx it. So, I'll stay mum.

There are other things I could talk about, Obama fucking up (or that's what Fox News tells me), Meghan McCain's might fine boobs, my perspective prospects that may or may not, trip to Philly, jokes I'm coming up with.

I'll try to keep it positive. I mean, what's more positive than boobs?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Upcoming Album Releases

With targeted dates, months. Which mean less than a stack of shit but, it's a reference point to anticipate.

1) Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dust (8/09)
2) Andre 3000 (late '09)
3) Outkast (late '09)
4) Jay-Z - Blueprint3 (9/11/09)
5) Kid Cudi - Man on the Moon: The End of Day (9/25/09)
6) Lil Wayne - Rebirth (8/18/09)
7) Bone Thugs N Harmony - Uni5 (9/22/09)
8) Bobby Ray - The Adventures of Bobby Ray (9/22/09)
9) Dr. Dre - Detox ('09...I almost laugh putting this as upcoming)
10) Lupe Fiasco (late '09)

:::New Editions:::

(I should have remembered Wale. Slaughterhouse was a complete surprise)

11) Wale - Attention: Deficit (9/22/09)
12) Slaughterhouse - Slaughterhouse (8/11/09)

I hope I update this with some more artists. Any one I'm forgetting?

I don't really know I do this to myself. Haven't I learned not to expect album until I see it under the "Tuesday Releases" section of the Sunday Best Buy weekly ad?

Monday, June 1, 2009

In case you didn't know...

...I played paintball this weekend.

And it was awesome!

It's like living a shootout movie scene but without the inconvenience of dying or guilt of killing.

Even though it doesn't really hurt getting hit, it's enough to make you want to avoid being hit. Like when you find cover and all you hear is a barrage of paintballs hitting your cover and whizzing by your head, you really scream, "Fuck...I better move!" Getting hit stings for a split second, then it goes away. Of course, I was a first time player and was wearing an undershirt, a t-shirt and a long-sleeve tee. There were guys playing in beaters. I guess there were use to it.

But then again, there were those who were decked out in full army fatigues. Those guys were hardcore!

So, after playing once...I'm ready to play again. This time, I'm getting my own marker (or gun for those unfamiliar to the game). I saw this one marker that looked like an M16. That shit was ill. Might get it off eBay in a paintball package.

(don't worry, I'll make sure to carry the gun in the bag on the streets)


Monday, May 25, 2009

Lesson learned.

OK, next time I want to check out a comedy open mike, come early.

That way, I won't spend $15 for parking only to get to the venue and be turned away because it was sold out.

It's funny, writing jokes, writing lyrics, making beats, all things you would think are simple until you try it. Then you realized that it is hard as fuck.

Next week, I wanna check out a comedy open mike just to get an idea of the talent level that would be expected. To be a good joke writer, you would have to observe everything and anything and think, "how can I make that int a joke." Hey, even raping young boys can be funny if said right.

In other news...alotta new music coped. Eminem, Busa-Bus, Kid Cudi, even Curren$y & Drake. Gotta love new music!

Until next time, kiddies...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Friday, May 1, 2009


"Celtics close the most important game of the season, in triple overtime, and the lineup is Rajon Rondo, Brian Scalabrine, Ray Allen, Stephon Marbury, and Eddie House. Who would have predicted that a year ago? They were without injured Kevin Garnett and Leon Powe. James Posey is a Hornet. And Paul Pierce, Glen Davis, and Kendrick Perkins had all fouled out."

Reading this quote infuriates & sickens me.

Friday, April 17, 2009

It's been awhile...

...since I've been on this bitch. I was thinking about making a post for a while, but I always said, "fogitabouitit".

But, now, I have something to say.

After watching tons of videos on (check it out!!), I said to myself, "I can do a comedy routine." So, lately, I've been working on one. Basically, the topic of the routine is all the reason why I am a loser (not saying that I am, but if I told you some things about me, anyone would think I was). If I had a comedy special, it would be called "The Winner at Being a Loser." I would make a point to say that all topics are true stories of what has happened to me (to a point). Some topics:

Sex life (or extreme lack thereof) in college
Prostitution & paranoia
Male proposition on online dating site.
Girl I "met" in Montreal
The appreciating of women who engage in anal sex

There are more and each one can be a 4 minute routine by themselves.

I probably won't ever do a show but I might get a decent webcam and put it on youtube. It does get very dirty and gritty, so I wonder how much I can say and still have people look at me the same.

If there are gonna recoil in disgust, I at least hope it's funny.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Haven't been on here in a minute...

I haven't forgotten about this...yet.

I've been working on some big things. Looking to put what I have learned into action.

I swear I'll be back with some updates.

Monday, March 9, 2009

I keep having this recurring dream...

This recurring dream revolves around me not being able to shoot a gun.

The situations change, but the same theme is there.

I've had dreams where I was a cop, I was protecting my home, I was a good Samaritan, I was a criminal getting away from the police, even one where I was having a water fight with a supersoaker.

There were a one or two dreams were I was lucid and was able to will my gun to fire bullets. But now that doesn't even work. It has gotten to the pint where if I fire a gun and it doesn't work, I [i]know[/i] it's a dream.

Now, I'm no dream therapist, but I am fairly certain I know what it means.

Simply put, it means that in my life, I don't "pull the trigger" enough. Which almost goes without saying.

Hell, I know I should. Now I know what all those math-illiterate people in high school felt when I explained the reason behind the idea derivatives. They didn't get it and I kept asking myself, "why not? It's so simple." Fast forward to now. People ask me, why don't you just ______________ (any number of things) and I reply, "I just can't/won't don't want to" and people respond, "why not? It's so simple."

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't me...

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Don't ya just wish... would walk up to a girl and say "Hi, I think you look very pretty. I would like to spend a little time with you, get to know you?" without her being a total bitch?

I mean, shit, why are some women such bitches when someone actually talks to them like a human being not some hottie looking to get fucked?





Alright, I'm fine now.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Top 5 tracks from K'naan's album, Troubadour.

I'm saying it again, this album is fantastic! And now, I present, my top 5 tracks:

5) 15 Minutes Away

4) Wavin' Flag

3) Somalia

2) Fatima

1) People Like Me

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

One day, cruising on iTunes Music store, I came across K'naan, some Somali-Canadian rapper. He had two albums with a couple of good songs.

So, with news that his new album was oout, I thought I give it a good listen to.

Man, this album is good!!! Definitely check it out! No joke.

Also, Joe Budden's [i]Padded Room[/i] was released. This album is pretty good, as well. Definitely a good day for hip hop fans (well, a good day, musically, for me).

Friday, February 20, 2009

This is an hawk's eye.

And it should be a future album cover.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Kanye West ft. KiD CuDi - Welcome To Heartbreak

KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

No, you're computer is not fucked up. I think the video is suppose to look like that.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Two songs I'm diggin' rght now!

Bang Bang - Young Jeezy

A Bad Dream - Keane

Talk about songs on two different ends of the spectrum.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Albums to be released in 2009

...that I am waiting patiently for:

1) Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dust
2) Andre 3000
3) Outkast
4) Busta Rhymes - Back on my Bullshit
5) Jay-Z - Blueprint3
6) Lil Wayne - Rebirth (yes, I am anticipating it)
7) Linkin Park (even though it is suppose to be a 'Concept Album', whatever that could mean).
8) Bone Thugs N Harmony - Uni5 I hope they still have it.
9) Eminem - Relapse. Early in his career, Em had a knack for making his single the worst song on the album, if that is true for this one, then cotdamn.
10) Dr. Dre - Detox
11 & 12) Lupe Fiasco. I just learned of this fiasco. Apparently, LupEND was suppose to be his last album. He put it on hold and instead will release three more albums between June 2009 (The Great American Rap Album) & June 2010 (the second album in December 2009), followed by LupE.N.D. Damn, son. If he can pull that off...whoa.

Now, I fully expect half of these albums not be released this year (I'm looking at you Busta & Dre) and a few to suck. But this is a pretty impressive list for 2009.


(note: I might make a Chris Brown/Rihanna post in a few days. Something tells me we're gonna learn a lot more about what went Down...Down...Down, Down)

('s gonna take a lot more than a Rihanna beatdown for me to not like this song).

Monday, February 2, 2009

So, housing hunting sucks...

So, my sister & I have been house hunting for a month. Which is an relatively incredibly short time. But with each house we look at, we get a little more discouraged about what we can afford. Did is probably what those super sap suckers who bought more then they can afford felt. Thinking "we can go 10 grand higher." Then they see that house, realize that they probably have to spend 15-20 grand to fix it up. Next thing you know, they are paying 25-30 grand more than they can afford.

I should probably make sure that doesn't happen to me.

Then I start think about the little joys about owning a house. And by 'joys', I mean extremely, agonizing, annoying anti-perks. You never realize how much a house has to be maintained. Broken heater? That's on you. Pipes need replacing? That's on you! Making sure you house's structure doesn't crumple right under you feet? That's on you!!

At some point, I have to ask, "is it worth it?"

Maybe the Condo route might be better. Getting a condo isn't exactly painless. But if I can afford the fee, why can't someone else take care of that other shit.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Well, Obama is the President...

...time to go to work.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Real Men vs. Little Boys?

We have all heard women say this. They want real men, not little boys.

But seriously, I don't know how a woman would differentiate between the two.

Maybe that makes me a little boy.

I mean, what does it really mean? How would a woman answer that? I really wish women visited this blog so that I can get an answer.

I mean, do real men co-host dinner parties, take out the trash...without (too much) complaint, call their girls in front of their boys without trying to hide it, pay bills on time, own a car? Are these the hallmarks of a man?

What about a boy? Do boys play Madden, live at home, work steady "professional" jobs with little to no ambition, hang out with their boys for hours without calling their girls? Are these boy tendencies?

What if a guy does things from both lists? Does that make him a boy or a man? Or a hybrid manboy? Is a Manboy better than a boy, but worse than a man? Am I crazy to think that the best a woman can ask for from a man under 35 is a man who can keep his boy in check?

As you can see, I have questions...and I need answers. What ca I say, I'm curious.


Sunday, January 11, 2009


...I figure you havea newspaper subscription, a TV or the Internet, so you know about the crazy shit happening in the Middle East (well, the crazy, crazy shit, not just your regular crazy shit, the crazy, crazy shit). And I have one opinion...

...I have no opinion.

Not because I don't care, but because I am not really informed about what the fuck is happening. I mean, America supports Israel (through thick and thin, for reasons that are beyond my understanding), yet it seems like Israel is the aggressors against Hamas. Yet, I don't know if Hamas started it and Israel is just going out of control. Is Israel purposely bombing civilian targets (making a statement) or is Hamas purposely using civilians targets as fronts? I don't know.

There are alot of thinks I don't know. Like, why did I make this post?

Or why I made it at 3:20AM on an early Sunday morning.

I'm just weird like that...


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

New Hip Hop...

I've been listening to some new music from some new artists. Check em out...

Currensy - Drug Flow

This beat is nice. This is the type of beat that would take me a week to produce and not even get close to sounding good.

Charles Hamilton - Windows Media Player

The beat is pretty average, if you ask me. But it's made completely of sounds from Windows XP. That's pretty creative!

I absolutely dig this track! The beat is smooth, all while using rough sounds and the flow is great! Plus, the chorus is very catchy.

Stat Quo - Another Level

I love the chorus feel of this beat. Can't help but bump ya head!

On a closing note, Stat Quo released two mixtapes (The Bailout a while back & QuoCity recently), but should have been released as regular albums. Both are quality. I suggest you check them out...if you like hip hop.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Well, it's the second day of 2009...

...and I already plan on doing something drastically out of character.


I wonder what is worse.

A) Not trying


B) Working up the courage to try, only to realize the opportunity is lost.

B is stinging like a...uh, a bee right now.

Fuck, now I'm gonna have to reflect on this all weekend.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Every New Year, I feel the same way...

"Well, New years are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each bang of a firework in the air, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy new year? No such thing."

Pretty much...