2012 NFL Off-season.

From here:

New England Patriots: ‎"Team Needs: CB, DE, WR.

Their Super Bowl run proved once again that the Patriots are superbly coached by Bill Belichick and have a great QB in Tom Brady, which allowed them to overcome some personnel deficiencies. The team's biggest problem area is the secondary, where the Patriots had to use wide receiver Julian Edelman late in the season. Their No. 31-ranked pass defense is somewhat misleading, as teams had to throw on the Pats once they fell behind. But the Patriots could not match up for 60 minutes with Eli Manning and his trio of wide receivers, so look for them to draft -- or sign in free agency --corners and another pass rusher. The Pats need to re-sign or, more likely will franchise, free-agent-to-be WR Wes Welker and then add another impact wide receiver or two, while bidding farewell to Chad Ochocinco and perhaps Deion Branch."

Looking at the WR pool, *coughBrandonLloydcough*, I'm looking forward to this off-season! *coughSeeingHowImDesperatelyTryingNotToLookBackSneeze

Plus, last year's second round pick, Ras-I Dowling (who was put on IR early in the season) will be back to help out the secondary. And the Pats have two first round picks and two second round picks (which they will convert into first round picks in 2043). But, hey, they may actually use them. So, yeah, silver lining (because I got nothing else).

I still believe in you!

~ Derek

I wanna get back into the blogging game...

I feel like I have so much to talk about.

1) I can talk about my big plans for 2012. Barbaods, a wedding (not mine), maybe going to Chicago, LA or London (completely by my Goddamn self, because that's how I roll).

2) My dating year in review. Actually, I can do that now. Meet a girl, had many great pre-date conversations, had pretty good first date, *POOF*, she disappeared, stop returning all communication from me. Talk about frustrating...

Should change their name to 'eFuckFuckFuckittyFuck'

3) My assorted crushes and my attempts to do something about them (Long story short...comedy ensued).

4) My brief stint in comedy. From Standup, which is as hard as you think it is, to Improv, which is HARDER than you think it is.

This is the only time in life I will give you credit...

5) My adventures perusing Quibids, looking for deals (and getting screwed in the end...like a well paid pornstar). I can give you this advice: If you're thinking about using it, don't. Just don't...

6) Music, TV, movies...alot of good shit this year. Well, good music, great TV, and I think there was one decent movie.

7) I website I found, which is great...if you like gore, racism, 9/11 jokes and the such. Essentially, a site only for the worse in all of us. And titties...(always relevant).

Not the worse site on the internet...just the worse that doesn't require proxies

8) The state of the world. Occupations, revelations, Tea Party Nations, etc.

9) Looming in the background, a Presidential election. Which is really, really, fucking depressing, if you're paying attention (which is probably why you're not...).

Romney, ever so perfectly, made the face we all make whenever watching a GOP Debate

Now, I've made this declarations before. To start blogging again, then said. "Nuts to this...I'm mobile...". The only problems is, sometimes I make a post and think, "what the hell is this crap? The Internet, which has special sites to see Guys blow transvestite dogs, is telling you to get rid of that shit."

So, will I stick to it? Probably not. Will you care? Probably not. Will I finish this sente...

~ Derek

(PS...if you're reading this...you're in for a treat. This is the only time I will tag a post with 'life' AND 'times'. This happens once a lifetime. Black Presidents happen more often...

Is President Brady gonna have to cut taxes off a bitch?

Kendrick Lamar - Vanity Slaves

I've been looking for these lyrics all over the net. But I could only find the lyrics to the Remix with Gucci.

So, fuck it...I did it myself:

Sometimes I wanna leave, sometimes I wanna cry
sometimes I hate to bear the truth,
sometimes I wanna lie
sometimes I wanna school the youth
sometimes I wanna ride
sometimes I wanna not think
sometimes I wanna vibe
Sometimes I wanna bump Tribe and zone out, this song 'bout a young boy
that's gone wild inside, where my world collide
With your world, where your girl and your kids resides
We killed the facade, we feel free to fly
With bird that reserve in the charmisatic sky
I care about my pride too much
If my clothes is new
If my ride is plush
If my hair is cut
If my diamonds is crush
I look in the mirror, "I'm trendy enough?"
Wrong
Insecurity roams the black community homes
where kids must have jewelry
The high school females need earrings in detail
So she can be cool to be, amongst popularity
The various name brands, that reach the price scan
It's not about the right price, but more like the right scam
To rule us all, confuse us all
Hit the bank within five minutes, then withdraw
Now, let's draw, the picture of a rapper with a chain
and a Range that is not paid for
My cousin from the South, said he just bought him a house
That lives around his neck like a white collar
So, I fast forward, then I rewind
the time machine can help me double back to Slavery times
Picking cotton from a field that a white man own,
the blacker you are, farther from the white man home
Negro spiritual songs, gave us some type of sanity
Before your vanity, they parted our families
They put us in 100 degree shade and outside we bathed
The more we were afraid, the more they made rules
To trap our minds in the cage, our freedom was so vague,
Couldn't see it with the eyes of Tracee Ross, ugh.
And school was exempted, see, we couldn't have smarts
and a smirk would get you hurt, wounded first, from a scar
400 years of nothing, 400 years of suffering, 400 years of tears,
and tribulations, miseducation, see what we facing is now coming,
back to the roots
Remember whips on our back and if we would run, they would shoot?
Called us niggers and figured that we never live and pursuit
Of happiness, we captured these feelings in things that we do
Thought this (?) and slavery, but we made it come to
About our perspective, my shoe selecetion gotta be Louie
Her handbag gotta be Gucci,
It's fake and she fooled me
She still bad, though
And her fake Gucci ain't that bad, though.
We fillin' up the gas for Rollies,
Upgrade to 26s after riding Kobes
My cousin from the South, slavery started in the South
And I bet cha
He overcompensates for the life of his ancestors
So blame in on the 400 years we never saw
The reason why the next 400, we gotta floss
Slaves...

Top 15

1) Mila Kunis



2) Raven-Symone


3) Mya


4) Margarita Levieva


5) Taraji Henson


6) Scarlett Johansson


7) Parminder Nagra


8) Paula Garces


9) Alison Brie


10) Alicia Keyes


11) Stacey Dash


12) Tracie Thoms


13) Melissa Rauch


14) Abby Elliot


15) Amy Adams


Honorable Mentions:

Zoe Saldana
Beyonce
Salma Hayek
Natalie Portman
Kaley Cuoco
Rose Byrne
Emma Stone
Morena Baccarin

Yahoo! Tournament Pick-em

That time of year again!

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/register/joinprivategroup

Group ID: 32475
PW: madrealworld

Let's do it!

I think I'm gonna say it...I rather have Hillary.

I would love, love, love, for politics to be civil so that we can have honest and open discussions, with an well-informed public, vote on conscious and keep it moving. In that world, Obama may have done some shit. But we don't live that world. We live in a world were it's all about the dirty, do whatever it takes, lie, cheat, bribe, steal, mislead the public, open to manipulation as if they were kids in a candy shop. In this world, Hillary would have gotten in the mud. If that is what it takes to get things done, then son of a bitch, lets do it. (Rant over).

Dems suck

It's over.

It's not entirely their fault. Yes, the country voted them in to do shit. Yes, they can take alot of the blame. They tried to be civil and it didn't work. There's no room for civility in Modern US politics. Most Dems want to be the calm individuals to talk things thru. As oppose to Republican's who use every trick in the book to completely trick the stupid American voter into believing whatever they say. Name calling, lies, etc. It works. Dems tried to play above that and it didn't work.

Now, I saw it's not entirely their fault because this country, at heart, is Center-Right. So, politics is gonna have to play that way. Have you heard about the Liberal Republicans in the House? No, because they don't exist (or they aren't enough of them to form a group). But you have Conservative Democrats. And because they exist, there is a tough time for Democrats to get together on anything. Could you image what we would have right now if Republican's had a Super-majority? All their policies would have passed by July.

But then again, it doesn't matter who is in charged. The entire political process is so far flawed, that the people are gonna get fucked and there isn't much we can do about that, unless the Tea Partyiers make do on their imply threat and attempt to overthrow the country. But I wouldn't trust those guys with my mail, let alone an type of responsibility over others.

In essence...we're fucked.

You Ever Think About...

...why we feel the need to celebrate every birthday?

I mean, some birthdays I get.

Your 1st birthday, your 13th birthday, 16th, 18th (for the porn...oh, the porn), 21st and every 10 years starting with your 30th.

Those birthdays can be seen as "milestone" birthdays. But all your other birthdays...what are you celebrating?

So Boring...

I mean, of course, when the average person died at 33, making it to 27 can be seen as something of importance. But why do we feel the need to treat the other "non-important" birthdays as something needed for celebration? What are you celebrating, really? The fact that you haven't done something stupid enough to get killed for it? Congratulations! You didn't try to prove that you can jump from that one building in to the pool below! Here's some cake!

I'm telling you, I can make it...

So, what am I saying? Stay home? Do nothing? No, you'd be wrong...

...dummy

I'm just saying, if you go out every other weekend, don't feel the need to do something "extra special" just because it's your birthday.

And if you're a loser who never goes out, you shouldn't feel bad when you are watching your DVR, alone in your room, in your pajamas, on your 27th birthday.

TGIF

That's all I'm sayin...

Derek

Does this sound dickish?

So, I saw this video and left the comment below:

"I don't want to sound like a dick, but the man knew where he was. He knows what happens to adulterers. Don't get me wrong, I all against stoning adulterers as their punishment. But he knows where he is. He doesn't want to get stone? Don't cheat. Or don't get married. Or move somewhere else.

Those are some tough choices, especially for those who can't or don't want to leave. But, I figure staying and not cheating is easier than taking a stone to the left temple."

After which, my opinion was criticized. I mean, was that a dickish statement?

NFL Playoff Predictions

The match ups:

AFC

#6 Baltimore @ #3 New England
#5 NY Jets @ #4 Cincinnati

#1 Indy & #2 SD have byes

NFC

#6 Philly @ #3 Dallas
#5 GB @ #4 Arizona

#1 NO & #2 Minnesota have byes

My Predictions:

AFC:

Bal over NE
Cin over NYJ

Ind over Bal
SD over Cin

SD over Ind

NFC:

(The NFC is so much harder because I feel that any team can go to the Super Bowl. I don't even feel comfortable with this selection here):

Phi over Dal
GB over AZ

NO over Phi
Min over GB

Min over NO

Super Bowl XXXIX

SD over Min

Introducing a new Blog Series.

"You Ever Thing About...?" will explore actions, concepts, thoughts, ideas, etc. that, when you think about it, are complete insane, weird, outstanding, etc.

Now, this won't be a weekly thing. Won't be a monthly thing. Won't be on any type of schedule. The series will come out pretty much how I see fit. I do have 4 topics, so this blog series will be around for about at least a few weeks.

For my first entry:

You Ever Think about...how everything we do, everything that we know and exists on this planet, will be gone in 6 Billion years?

I'm gonna assume that you believe in Stellar Evolution. I mean, if you didn't, so what? What they hell do we know? Even the smartest scientists may ultimately have it wrong.

But I'll continue as if you believe. The Sun is, no surprise here, a star. And like any star we theorized ('we' being human beings 100 smarter than you or I...or at least appear 100 times smarter), it goes through a life cycle. A Star is Born, exists for a few billion years at a relatively steady temperature, gradually gets warmer, expands massively into a Red Giant, then collapse into a White Dwarf.

Some time between now and then, Earth's atmosphere will be completely shredded and the surface will resemble Mars.

Just another lovely Sunday on Earth

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Why the fuck would I care? I'll be gone by then. Holy fuck. I'll be gone by then!!!!!"

Sorry to freak you out. This isn't one of those "Life on Earth-Mars will turn to shit, so Live Your Life now" type posts. I Swear.

This is merely a thought exercise.

I, for one, find it fascinating. I find everything about the Universe fascinating. Because I'm a big nerd with lots of time on my hands. No complaints from me. But I wish time would be the only thing on my hands.

(Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

Now, don't get me wrong, I believe that by then, humans would probably find some other planet we could travel to, take the most important (i.e. riches sons a bitches...because money will be so important on a brand new planet) and continue our existences for awhile. Until the resident aliens get sick of us and boot us out. Who's the dirty Mexican now?

Above: Dirty Mexican!

But is also makes me think. In the grand scheme of things, are we really just a spec of dust on the pubic hair of the Universe's nutsack?

Something like that

Personally, I like to think that we are just a small glisten of sweat on the Universe's large boobs.

Apparently, I think the Universe is a large chested tranny.

See. That didn't hurt?

"Think Kanye is a jerk? Want him dead?

Congratulations, you're worst than him."

I wanted to post this after reading some of the tweets regarding the "RIP Kanye West" hoax on Twitter. Reading some of the things people were tweeting, it kinda annoyed me.

(I was gonna post some of the tweets I was talking about, but this is what I get for posting this a day too late)

Basically, there were a few "He's not dead, but he should be" and "He's not dead, unfortunately" and "Why can't 'RIP Kanye West' be true :("

My headline is for those people.

Now, don't get me wrong, these types of tweets were few and far between. And I bet the ones I read were probably in jest. But for those who were serious or even quasi-serious, I say, "Kanye West is a jerk, an egotistical asshole. You, my friend, are much worse of a human being."

I'm not really for the death penalty (save that for another post) but I understand wanting to put someone to death for the crime of murder. But wishing death on someone for being a jerk/asshole/useless? You're a bigger piece of shit in my book.

Can you imagine? One day, Kanye West is walking in the street. A bus is careening out of control. I jump out and pull Kanye back from certain death. Then some Twitteridiot comes up to me and ask, "why did you do that for?" Their tweets were basically saying the same thing.

If you're one of those people reading this entry and thinking, "Derek, I wish death on you!"

I say, "You're still a bigger asshole. Bask in your Grand Assholeism!"

Derek

(I really don't know why I posted this. Just trying to stay up to date, I guess).

Upcoming Album Releases

With targeted dates, months. Which mean less than a stack of shit but, it's a reference point to anticipate.

1) Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dust (8/09)
2) Andre 3000 (late '09)
3) Outkast (late '09)
4) Jay-Z - Blueprint3 (9/11/09)
5) Kid Cudi - Man on the Moon: The End of Day (9/25/09)
6) Lil Wayne - Rebirth (8/18/09)
7) Bone Thugs N Harmony - Uni5 (9/22/09)
8) Bobby Ray - The Adventures of Bobby Ray (9/22/09)
9) Dr. Dre - Detox ('09...I almost laugh putting this as upcoming)
10) Lupe Fiasco (late '09)

:::New Editions:::

(I should have remembered Wale. Slaughterhouse was a complete surprise)

11) Wale - Attention: Deficit (9/22/09)
12) Slaughterhouse - Slaughterhouse (8/11/09)

I hope I update this with some more artists. Any one I'm forgetting?

I don't really know I do this to myself. Haven't I learned not to expect album until I see it under the "Tuesday Releases" section of the Sunday Best Buy weekly ad?

In case you didn't know...

...I played paintball this weekend.

And it was awesome!

It's like living a shootout movie scene but without the inconvenience of dying or guilt of killing.

Even though it doesn't really hurt getting hit, it's enough to make you want to avoid being hit. Like when you find cover and all you hear is a barrage of paintballs hitting your cover and whizzing by your head, you really scream, "Fuck...I better move!" Getting hit stings for a split second, then it goes away. Of course, I was a first time player and was wearing an undershirt, a t-shirt and a long-sleeve tee. There were guys playing in beaters. I guess there were use to it.

But then again, there were those who were decked out in full army fatigues. Those guys were hardcore!

So, after playing once...I'm ready to play again. This time, I'm getting my own marker (or gun for those unfamiliar to the game). I saw this one marker that looked like an M16. That shit was ill. Might get it off eBay in a paintball package.

(don't worry, I'll make sure to carry the gun in the bag on the streets)

Doc

Sweeney Todd - My Friends

Why the hell not...

From ESPN.com...

"Celtics close the most important game of the season, in triple overtime, and the lineup is Rajon Rondo, Brian Scalabrine, Ray Allen, Stephon Marbury, and Eddie House. Who would have predicted that a year ago? They were without injured Kevin Garnett and Leon Powe. James Posey is a Hornet. And Paul Pierce, Glen Davis, and Kendrick Perkins had all fouled out."

Reading this quote infuriates & sickens me.

Lil Wayne - Prom Queen (video)

I like it...

Top 5 tracks from K'naan's album, Troubadour.

I'm saying it again, this album is fantastic! And now, I present, my top 5 tracks:

5) 15 Minutes Away



4) Wavin' Flag



3) Somalia



2) Fatima



1) People Like Me

One day, cruising on iTunes Music store, I came across K'naan, some Somali-Canadian rapper. He had two albums with a couple of good songs.

So, with news that his new album was oout, I thought I give it a good listen to.

Man, this album is good!!! Definitely check it out! No joke.

Also, Joe Budden's [i]Padded Room[/i] was released. This album is pretty good, as well. Definitely a good day for hip hop fans (well, a good day, musically, for me).

Kanye West ft. KiD CuDi - Welcome To Heartbreak

KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

No, you're computer is not fucked up. I think the video is suppose to look like that.