Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Yahoo! Tournament Pick-em

That time of year again!

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/register/joinprivategroup

Group ID: 32475
PW:
madrealworld

Let's do it!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Religious Talk with my parents.

So, my parents were talking about Lent. I told my Lent joke which I always find funny:

"You know what I'm giving up for Lent? Religion."

I love this joke!

My Parents...not so much.

I know religion is sensitive for my parents (especially, my father, which is very surprising).

So, I was real careful not to make any of my sarcastic comments, even though there were three distinct opportunities to do so:

1) My Father, after my joke, said I shouldn't make jokes about things like that. I was gonna respond with:

"...this coming from a guy that only goes to church twice a year."

Really. Sometimes only once a year. So, I figured he was just going through the motions. But apparently, he really believes hard. (Can you believe hard?). Also, my mother missed a real opportunity to sucker my father into a few more church visits.

2) Coming off my father's comment, my sister said that "you don't think God has a sense of humor?" I was immediately going to tell the story of Desiree Jennings. I can tell you now, or let the video talk:



For those of you on News Channel 8 (#insidejoke), the video is of a girl who got a flu shot. However, there was a side effect that triggered some disease in which she couldn't walk straight without a stammering and spazzing out. But could walk backwards and run with absolutely no problems with her movement or speech. With that said, my sarcastic comment was gonna be:

"After hearing this story, I completely believe that God exists...and just loves messing with us for laughs."

On a side note, they ended up finding out what was wrong with her and cured her. So, I have no guilt in showing you this clip:



Ah, I'm probably still going to hell.

3) Finally, after hearing my jokes and being slightly annoyed, my mother claimed that she "raise us better than that." I was gonna say:

"Mum, you raised us to be analytical, critical-thinking, individuals, capable of having our own thoughts, making our own decisions. and in that regard, you succeeded."

And I'm sure this probably wouldn't have played over well. So, I held restraint.

I feel like I accomplished something.

Praise Jesus!


OK, she might have raised us to be a little racist, as well.

Derek

I think I'm gonna say it...I rather have Hillary.

I would love, love, love, for politics to be civil so that we can have honest and open discussions, with an well-informed public, vote on conscious and keep it moving. In that world, Obama may have done some shit. But we don't live that world. We live in a world were it's all about the dirty, do whatever it takes, lie, cheat, bribe, steal, mislead the public, open to manipulation as if they were kids in a candy shop. In this world, Hillary would have gotten in the mud. If that is what it takes to get things done, then son of a bitch, lets do it. (Rant over).

Dems suck

It's over.

It's not entirely their fault. Yes, the country voted them in to do shit. Yes, they can take alot of the blame. They tried to be civil and it didn't work. There's no room for civility in Modern US politics. Most Dems want to be the calm individuals to talk things thru. As oppose to Republican's who use every trick in the book to completely trick the stupid American voter into believing whatever they say. Name calling, lies, etc. It works. Dems tried to play above that and it didn't work.

Now, I saw it's not entirely their fault because this country, at heart, is Center-Right. So, politics is gonna have to play that way. Have you heard about the Liberal Republicans in the House? No, because they don't exist (or they aren't enough of them to form a group). But you have Conservative Democrats. And because they exist, there is a tough time for Democrats to get together on anything. Could you image what we would have right now if Republican's had a Super-majority? All their policies would have passed by July.

But then again, it doesn't matter who is in charged. The entire political process is so far flawed, that the people are gonna get fucked and there isn't much we can do about that, unless the Tea Partyiers make do on their imply threat and attempt to overthrow the country. But I wouldn't trust those guys with my mail, let alone an type of responsibility over others.

In essence...we're fucked.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

You Ever Think About...

...why we feel the need to celebrate every birthday?

I mean, some birthdays I get.

Your 1st birthday, your 13th birthday, 16th, 18th (for the porn...oh, the porn), 21st and every 10 years starting with your 30th.

Those birthdays can be seen as "milestone" birthdays. But all your other birthdays...what are you celebrating?

So Boring...

I mean, of course, when the average person died at 33, making it to 27 can be seen as something of importance. But why do we feel the need to treat the other "non-important" birthdays as something needed for celebration? What are you celebrating, really? The fact that you haven't done something stupid enough to get killed for it? Congratulations! You didn't try to prove that you can jump from that one building in to the pool below! Here's some cake!

I'm telling you, I can make it...

So, what am I saying? Stay home? Do nothing? No, you'd be wrong...

...dummy

I'm just saying, if you go out every other weekend, don't feel the need to do something "extra special" just because it's your birthday.

And if you're a loser who never goes out, you shouldn't feel bad when you are watching your DVR, alone in your room, in your pajamas, on your 27th birthday.

TGIF

That's all I'm sayin...

Derek

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Does this sound dickish?



So, I saw this video and left the comment below:

"I don't want to sound like a dick, but the man knew where he was. He knows what happens to adulterers. Don't get me wrong, I all against stoning adulterers as their punishment. But he knows where he is. He doesn't want to get stone? Don't cheat. Or don't get married. Or move somewhere else.

Those are some tough choices, especially for those who can't or don't want to leave. But, I figure staying and not cheating is easier than taking a stone to the left temple."

After which, my opinion was criticized. I mean, was that a dickish statement?

Monday, January 4, 2010

NFL Playoff Predictions

The match ups:

AFC

#6 Baltimore @ #3 New England
#5 NY Jets @ #4 Cincinnati

#1 Indy & #2 SD have byes

NFC

#6 Philly @ #3 Dallas
#5 GB @ #4 Arizona

#1 NO & #2 Minnesota have byes

My Predictions:

AFC:

Bal over NE
Cin over NYJ

Ind over Bal
SD over Cin

SD over Ind

NFC:

(The NFC is so much harder because I feel that any team can go to the Super Bowl. I don't even feel comfortable with this selection here):

Phi over Dal
GB over AZ

NO over Phi
Min over GB

Min over NO

Super Bowl XXXIX

SD over Min

Friday, January 1, 2010

How did you spend your New Years?

Did you start off the night right, become the life of the party, become the official photographer, start talking to a pretty lady, go to the bathroom to puke, stumble outside without telling anyone, puke some more, puke on your shirt, pass out in an alley, almost get run over by someone parking their car, sit on some steps, listen out while your friends scream your name, guide them to you, get lead up back inside to a "red" room, pass out again, complain whenever someone turned the light on, get driven home with a plastic trashbag over your head, have a great night sleep and wake up with not even the slightest hint of a hangover?

No? I'll tell you who did:

This guy

Sigh...it could have been a great night. Welcome 2010...