You Ever Think About...

...why we feel the need to celebrate every birthday?

I mean, some birthdays I get.

Your 1st birthday, your 13th birthday, 16th, 18th (for the porn...oh, the porn), 21st and every 10 years starting with your 30th.

Those birthdays can be seen as "milestone" birthdays. But all your other birthdays...what are you celebrating?

So Boring...

I mean, of course, when the average person died at 33, making it to 27 can be seen as something of importance. But why do we feel the need to treat the other "non-important" birthdays as something needed for celebration? What are you celebrating, really? The fact that you haven't done something stupid enough to get killed for it? Congratulations! You didn't try to prove that you can jump from that one building in to the pool below! Here's some cake!

I'm telling you, I can make it...

So, what am I saying? Stay home? Do nothing? No, you'd be wrong...

...dummy

I'm just saying, if you go out every other weekend, don't feel the need to do something "extra special" just because it's your birthday.

And if you're a loser who never goes out, you shouldn't feel bad when you are watching your DVR, alone in your room, in your pajamas, on your 27th birthday.

TGIF

That's all I'm sayin...

Derek

Introducing a new Blog Series.

"You Ever Thing About...?" will explore actions, concepts, thoughts, ideas, etc. that, when you think about it, are complete insane, weird, outstanding, etc.

Now, this won't be a weekly thing. Won't be a monthly thing. Won't be on any type of schedule. The series will come out pretty much how I see fit. I do have 4 topics, so this blog series will be around for about at least a few weeks.

For my first entry:

You Ever Think about...how everything we do, everything that we know and exists on this planet, will be gone in 6 Billion years?

I'm gonna assume that you believe in Stellar Evolution. I mean, if you didn't, so what? What they hell do we know? Even the smartest scientists may ultimately have it wrong.

But I'll continue as if you believe. The Sun is, no surprise here, a star. And like any star we theorized ('we' being human beings 100 smarter than you or I...or at least appear 100 times smarter), it goes through a life cycle. A Star is Born, exists for a few billion years at a relatively steady temperature, gradually gets warmer, expands massively into a Red Giant, then collapse into a White Dwarf.

Some time between now and then, Earth's atmosphere will be completely shredded and the surface will resemble Mars.

Just another lovely Sunday on Earth

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Why the fuck would I care? I'll be gone by then. Holy fuck. I'll be gone by then!!!!!"

Sorry to freak you out. This isn't one of those "Life on Earth-Mars will turn to shit, so Live Your Life now" type posts. I Swear.

This is merely a thought exercise.

I, for one, find it fascinating. I find everything about the Universe fascinating. Because I'm a big nerd with lots of time on my hands. No complaints from me. But I wish time would be the only thing on my hands.

(Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

Now, don't get me wrong, I believe that by then, humans would probably find some other planet we could travel to, take the most important (i.e. riches sons a bitches...because money will be so important on a brand new planet) and continue our existences for awhile. Until the resident aliens get sick of us and boot us out. Who's the dirty Mexican now?

Above: Dirty Mexican!

But is also makes me think. In the grand scheme of things, are we really just a spec of dust on the pubic hair of the Universe's nutsack?

Something like that

Personally, I like to think that we are just a small glisten of sweat on the Universe's large boobs.

Apparently, I think the Universe is a large chested tranny.

See. That didn't hurt?