The Life Or Times Of Derek: 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I wanna get back into the blogging game...

I feel like I have so much to talk about.

1) I can talk about my big plans for 2012. Barbaods, a wedding (not mine), maybe going to Chicago, LA or London (completely by my Goddamn self, because that's how I roll).

2) My dating year in review. Actually, I can do that now. Meet a girl, had many great pre-date conversations, had pretty good first date, *POOF*, she disappeared, stop returning all communication from me. Talk about frustrating...

Should change their name to 'eFuckFuckFuckittyFuck'

3) My assorted crushes and my attempts to do something about them (Long story short...comedy ensued).

4) My brief stint in comedy. From Standup, which is as hard as you think it is, to Improv, which is HARDER than you think it is.

This is the only time in life I will give you credit...

5) My adventures perusing Quibids, looking for deals (and getting screwed in the end...like a well paid pornstar). I can give you this advice: If you're thinking about using it, don't. Just don't...

6) Music, TV, movies...alot of good shit this year. Well, good music, great TV, and I think there was one decent movie.

7) I website I found, which is great...if you like gore, racism, 9/11 jokes and the such. Essentially, a site only for the worse in all of us. And titties...(always relevant).

Not the worse site on the internet...just the worse that doesn't require proxies

8) The state of the world. Occupations, revelations, Tea Party Nations, etc.

9) Looming in the background, a Presidential election. Which is really, really, fucking depressing, if you're paying attention (which is probably why you're not...).

Romney, ever so perfectly, made the face we all make whenever watching a GOP Debate

Now, I've made this declarations before. To start blogging again, then said. "Nuts to this...I'm mobile...". The only problems is, sometimes I make a post and think, "what the hell is this crap? The Internet, which has special sites to see Guys blow transvestite dogs, is telling you to get rid of that shit."

So, will I stick to it? Probably not. Will you care? Probably not. Will I finish this sente...

~ Derek

(PS...if you're reading this...you're in for a treat. This is the only time I will tag a post with 'life' AND 'times'. This happens once a lifetime. Black Presidents happen more often...

Is President Brady gonna have to cut taxes off a bitch?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Kendrick Lamar - Vanity Slaves

I've been looking for these lyrics all over the net. But I could only find the lyrics to the Remix with Gucci.

So, fuck it...I did it myself:

Sometimes I wanna leave, sometimes I wanna cry
sometimes I hate to bear the truth,
sometimes I wanna lie
sometimes I wanna school the youth
sometimes I wanna ride
sometimes I wanna not think
sometimes I wanna vibe
Sometimes I wanna bump Tribe and zone out, this song 'bout a young boy
that's gone wild inside, where my world collide
With your world, where your girl and your kids resides
We killed the facade, we feel free to fly
With bird that reserve in the charmisatic sky
I care about my pride too much
If my clothes is new
If my ride is plush
If my hair is cut
If my diamonds is crush
I look in the mirror, "I'm trendy enough?"
Wrong
Insecurity roams the black community homes
where kids must have jewelry
The high school females need earrings in detail
So she can be cool to be, amongst popularity
The various name brands, that reach the price scan
It's not about the right price, but more like the right scam
To rule us all, confuse us all
Hit the bank within five minutes, then withdraw
Now, let's draw, the picture of a rapper with a chain
and a Range that is not paid for
My cousin from the South, said he just bought him a house
That lives around his neck like a white collar
So, I fast forward, then I rewind
the time machine can help me double back to Slavery times
Picking cotton from a field that a white man own,
the blacker you are, farther from the white man home
Negro spiritual songs, gave us some type of sanity
Before your vanity, they parted our families
They put us in 100 degree shade and outside we bathed
The more we were afraid, the more they made rules
To trap our minds in the cage, our freedom was so vague,
Couldn't see it with the eyes of Tracee Ross, ugh.
And school was exempted, see, we couldn't have smarts
and a smirk would get you hurt, wounded first, from a scar
400 years of nothing, 400 years of suffering, 400 years of tears,
and tribulations, miseducation, see what we facing is now coming,
back to the roots
Remember whips on our back and if we would run, they would shoot?
Called us niggers and figured that we never live and pursuit
Of happiness, we captured these feelings in things that we do
Thought this (?) and slavery, but we made it come to
About our perspective, my shoe selecetion gotta be Louie
Her handbag gotta be Gucci,
It's fake and she fooled me
She still bad, though
And her fake Gucci ain't that bad, though.
We fillin' up the gas for Rollies,
Upgrade to 26s after riding Kobes
My cousin from the South, slavery started in the South
And I bet cha
He overcompensates for the life of his ancestors
So blame in on the 400 years we never saw
The reason why the next 400, we gotta floss
Slaves...